A Merry Christmas Message, Tempered By A Little Seasonal Affective Disorder, I Suppose.

The days are becoming darker and darker. I can feel my heart breaking. For no specific reason. I mean. Seasonal Affective Disorder. S.A.D. That’s an annual thing. By now I’m accustomed to it. Every year when I begin to feel sad again, I remember. Oh right. Less daylight.

The news is not helping. I’m devastated for the entire world lashing out against itself.

Any whisper of hope seems so frail, it could be extinguished by a mere puff of air… or reactionary declaration.

I don’t feel happy at Christmas. Instead, I feel… a sort of patient melancholy. Tempered by a very deep kind of perhaps hidden, or subtle, joy. I’m comforted by the very saddest, most desperate Christmas songs. They remind me that this feeling of the world closing in on itself… it’s not new.

The song “How Great Our Joy” is one of the saddest songs I’ve ever heard… and beautiful.

And then there is this… my favourite. Mostly I feel caught up in the third verse: “and in despair I bowed my head; there is no peace on earth, I said…”

Well. Anyway. Merry Christmas. ❤

I heard the bells on Christmas day
Their old familiar carols play,
And wild and sweet the words repeat
Of peace on earth, good will to men.

And thought how, as the day had come,
The belfries of all Christendom
Had rolled along th’unbroken song
Of peace on earth, good will to men.

And in despair I bowed my head
There is no peace on earth, I said,
For hate is strong and mocks the song
Of peace on earth, good will to men.

Then pealed the bells more loud and deep:
God is not dead, nor doth He sleep;
The wrong shall fail, the right prevail
With peace on earth, good will to men.

P.S. That photo is me at 8 months old, my first Christmas.

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