Hey Are You Going To Our High School Reunion?

Nothing to do with travel.  Just funny, there’s a high school reunion coming up.  We’ll be traveling, can’t go.  I really wish we could, though.  But not for the reason everyone else is longing to attend.  I’m not looking to recapture the best days of my life.  As far as those days go, my best days are those understated days… the days you look back on years later and realize you’ve taken for granted.  And I’ve made it my life’s work to never take the regular, the supposedly mundane, for granted.  Ever.  I think there’s wonder in everything.  And I’ve found that the more celebrated, the more anticipated the event, the bigger of a letdown it was.  It’s like I was born a grouchy old lady, and this whole time I’ve simply been becoming more of who I really am.  I’ve never been giggler, except for those times that I really really REALLY should not be.  In high school, I mostly slept.  Like authentically, I was really tired (aren’t all teenagers tired?) and fell asleep constantly.  It’s like my super-power, able to fall asleep within a split second.  I’m not gregarious at all.  But I’m also not afraid of people.  Perhaps “social apathy” might be what you could say about my attitude toward my peers during my teen years.  I’d have to say that about 97% of my graduating class probably has no idea who I am.  Between my lack of awakeness, and my lack of interest in anyone outside of myself, coupled with kind of a bad attitude… I’m not left with that many friends from that time.  Or ever, really.  My dear friend Rachelle tells me that I was simply healthfully bonded to my family and this is why I didn’t give a shit about my peers.  Perhaps.  But also I am terrible at articulating my thoughts and feelings.  This blog is kind of a way for me to practice this kind of articulation, so maybe I know what to say about myself when I’m interacting with human beings.  Anyway it’s funny, I live in the same small town in which I graduated high school, plus with the advent of social media, I’m not sure how necessary a high school reunion really is for someone like me, I probably interact with more people I went to school now within adulthood than I did when we actually attended school together.  But it’s strange, the caution people seem to be approaching the idea of a high school reunion with.  I was surprised by it again today.  I guess these are people who had genuine amazing times in high school and don’t want to ruin those memories with a potentially awkward high school reunion.  I had an okay time in high school too, but I never felt like this was the peak of my life experience.  I spent about $20 on my grad dress, I just bought some random dress in a store and didn’t really care.  I didn’t have a boyfriend, so I had no date.  Why the hell would I need a date when I went to school with all these people?  I mean, it’s not like I’d need to bring someone so I’d have someone to hang out with — I knew all the people I was interested in knowing, plus if I brought some random guy, then I’d just have to babysit him the whole time.  Ugh, no thanks.  So, to me, it was just some event to attend.  Anyway, I wonder if the reason some people may want to stay away would be because they’d hear stories about themselves that they’d rather forget.  A different narrative than the one they’ve been presenting to the world, or their spouse, or whatever.  I’d like to think that I accurately represent myself here — that I slept a lot, I wasn’t very social, and when I did interact with my peers I was kind of an asshole.  And yet there were others who told me I was one of the sweetest people they’d ever met.  Honestly, that’s one of the things I’m still trying to process.  I felt like people were kind of projecting.  Like, they were counting in this being true, so that they could manipulate me.  They’re hoping I’m sweet.  Or perhaps they were confusing “quiet” with “sweet”.  Well whatever.  I had all kinds of excellent deep thoughts about a 20-year reunion.  No time to hash it out.  Here is a picture of me and my brother Kent in 1995.  My first day of grade 12, and his first day of grade 10.  If he read my blog he might make me take this pic down.  Haha THIS is why you must always read your family’s blogs.

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